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Sunday, May 8th, 2011

Subject:I LIVE!
Time:12:09 am.
I can't imagine I'm going to be posting here even remotely regularly but I would like to aim to. I miss all my friends over here. Though I assume most people have forgotten me or whatever. And I cannot blame them, I haven't posted or commented in well over a year or something. In fact I'm only doing it now because I'm drunk enough not to be self concious about returning.
Yes, I am now so shy that I feel self concious posting on my own blog. Fun times.
That's one reason I haven't posted in so long. My social phobia and depression is at an all time high. I'm becoming quite agoraphobic. Yesterday I had a panic attack in the park for no apparent reason. Luckilly the park is only a few minutes walk from my house but it was horrible. i couldn't breathe at all.
I have no income at the moment as I was kicked off ESA but am to ill to go on Job Seekeres Allowance, let alone get a job. I'm trying to appeal but it's a very long and hard process. I don't really need money as my Mum has suspended my rent for now, but it sure is depressing not even being able to pay £50 a month to my Mum for food and things.
Umm... don't know what else! I feel rather lonely at the moment but that's probably just because I am a bit tipsy and alone watching a crappy movie (Alien Resurrection).
I miss a huge bunch of people. i don't havbe many friends and the ones I do have I don't get to see very often.
But in good news Claire and I are working on a secret project that will hopefully bring me some money and a bit of structure/meaning to my life at the moment.
I'm going to try my best to post here, just bits and pieces. I understand if noone is reading this anymore, but it's nice to get it all out and just type about myself. Maybe this will become a stream of conciousness blog or something similar. Automatic writing? Musing about rubbish films? Talking about my love of Glam Rock? Who knows!
I'm sorry I left you livejournal.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Time:1:47 pm.
Sorry for lying when i said i was coming back. I did intend to but things have been bad recently.
I like to use this blog as a proper outlet for my thoughts and feelings and because they have recently been dark and horrid i don't really want to write about them.
If you'd like to see some various ramblings though i am updating here:
Hopefully soon i'll be able to actually write down all this shit. It might make me feel better. Or worse. But still better than this apathy.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

Time:11:46 pm.
I forgot a few more big things that happened when i'd been gone:

My beautiful big, black cat Milly died a few weeks ago :( She was about 15 or 16 so she had a nice long life but i'm still so sad that she's gone. She was the sweetest cat i ever met and i miss her terribly. She's been in my life so long the world is weird without her.

My Dad (stupid man he is) got kicked out by his long term girlfriend either because of his drinking or his philandering. He's over 65! Stupid man.

Umm... i think that's it though!

Today was my sisters birthday, which should have been lovely but she was really unhappy because of some personal problems. Having to hug a crying sister on her birthday is horrible :(
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Subject:Highlights from saturday night
Time:12:26 am.
Bonding with a stranger in the ladies loos about how men are rubbish.
Dancing madly with Sullen Sean (one of the DJs)
running on stage to kiss Good Simon (another DJ) after he played Sparks for me
Sneakilly stealing an umbrella someone had left on a speaker
Finding a single leather glove on a night bus, putting it on and chewing one of the fingers.

...ewwww i'm horrible.
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Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Subject:I return!
Time:11:43 pm.
I know, i know i suck profusely and i probably have no friends left on here, but still i want back on so here i am!

Things have just been... weird and full and stressful lately.

some highlights since i last posted:
i have a puppy now, called Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
My sister had another baby, she wants to call it Louis but everyone else hates it
and thats really about it.

Am going to be catching up on everyones blogs for a long time now.
im sorry. so sorry.
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Thursday, January 21st, 2010

Subject:Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll
Time:1:29 pm.
Yesterday i went to see the Ian Dury biopic. It was pretty amazing really. Andy Serkis as Ian was absolutely fantastic, and i was very impressed with the prosthetics or cgi they used on his wonky leg. It was just beautiful to look at, especially the 'imaginary' scenes in the abandoned cinema, which were full of glitter and sparkle and victoriana and the amazing Peter Blake titles and animations that ran throughout.
It was one of those films that is both very sad and also kind of joyous. It's made me and Claire want to join a big crazy rock n roll posse and has made me very reminiscent of my lame punk days when i would go around loving the blockheads, particularly 'hit me with your rhythm stick' without any knowledge of what 'rhythm stick' was slang for. Ah the good old days when i wasn't born.
But if you're not remotely interested in Ian Dury i wouldn't recommend it. It is a really good story i guess.

I'm rubbishly poorly at the moment. Nothing serious of course but my whole head aches and i have a cold and a raw sore throat and am just constantly tired no matter how much i've slept.
We are having parts of the house decorated, the paint fumes aren't helping but the walls are now a light lime green and i really like it.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Subject:Blog Sale
Time:10:51 pm.
Hi guys, i'm going to post a proper entry soon i promise.
But today i've been busy putting up a sale on my makeup blog.
A portion of the proceeds will go to help Haiti and i think i've set them at fair prices so please do take the time to look and spread the word if you know anyone you think might like something.
check it out here:
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Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Time:5:55 am.
also i cant stop eating toast. mmm.
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Time:5:45 am.
i'm really bad at updating these days and i really don't know why! I'm sorry guys, i promise to do my best to change this.
I'm really really happy at the moment and seem to be annoying everyone i come into contact with.
I went dancing for the first time in ages and for me at least it was wonderful.
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Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Time:12:43 am.
I hope you all had a great christmas!
Mine was partly very stressful as my grandma and aunty came up and they are now very old, frail and going senile, so it really added to the usual stress of christmas. Dinner was very tasty, but there were so many people Lyd and i had to sit on our own at a ridiculously tiny table. It was hilarious. In the afternoon I stayed at home alone for a few hours while my mum and Lyd took grandma and aunty back to worthing, unfortunately for them my aunty vomited all over the car about half way there. However the evening was lovely, we watched eastenders and gavin and stacey and other tv and i was spoiled with a load of amazing presents!

Here's some highlights of what i got
from Father Christmas: Dvds of Psychoville, Army of Darkness and Sesame street, stickers, chocolate and lots of little fillers
from Lyd: a dvd of Silly Symphonies and a special thing for my nintendo DS which you can download games onto for free sneakilly. We can't work it out though and need to find a tech saggie boy.
from Laura, Neil and Alfie: a nice silver top thing, dvd of the last unicorn.
from my grandma and aunty: this dress: http://www.bettiepageclothing.com/products/SALE/?productid=221&continueShoppingPage=%2Fproducts%2FSALE%2F%3Fstart%3D12%26categoryid%3D21%26keywords%3D%26searchwords%3D%26itemNumber%3D%26searchPriceRange1%3D%26searchPriceRange2%3D which sadly does not fit :(, monies.
from my dad: Fantastic book of the nutcracker made of papercraft style illustrations and a beautiful pop-up section, monies, some pyjamas.
from my mum: this beautiful dress: http://www.bettiepageclothing.com/products/SALE/?productid=209&continueShoppingPage=%2Fproducts%2FSALE%2F which luckilly does fit!, This amazing swimming costume: http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/pink-swimsuit-retro-swimsuit.html
which looks fab on me (but obviously not like the model, this shirt: http://www.bettiepageclothing.com/products/NEWARRIVALS/?productid=242&continueShoppingPage=%2Fproducts%2FNEWARRIVALS%2F, a beautiful girdle, a handbag, some clockwork tin toys and 2 beautiful puppet/doll things.

Here's what i gave other people:
mum: A pair of pyjamas, a calculator in the shape of a bar of chocolate (it smells of chocolate too) and a beautiful Grinch christmas ornament.
dad: A painting i made.
grandma: Plants.
aunty: A nice tin of biscuits.
Laura: A Tigger draught excluder, pen and ice-cube tray.
Neil: A Michael McIntyre DVD.
Alfie: a set of Meg and Mog books.
Lyd: a Dr Seuss t-shirt, some nice earrings.

Yes i was thoroughly spoiled, especially by my mum! And tomorrow claire is coming home. We are celebrating with her on monday. And then on the 30th Xenia and her famly, and my friends Ian and Philippa are coming over to exhange seasons greetings. More presents :D!!!

Lyds ferrets are staying with us, they have a cage in the bath and sometimes Lyd lets them run free around the bathroom. Yesterday Feargal worked out how to open the cage by pushing his mighty nose against the opening thing at the top so we had to weight it down. Tonight Rikku managed to climb into the toilet and just now we heard a noise so Lyd went to investigate, Feargal had put himself back into the cage to go back to bed! <3 Beauties.

The guy who i made illustrations for (mentioned in a previous post) got back to me finally and really likes them. Phew. And he said he would sent me a cheque for my trouble, which i wasn't expecting!
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Saturday, December 26th, 2009

Time:12:43 pm.
Herbie: Fully Loaded is the gift that keeps on giving!
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Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Time:2:58 pm.
In the immortal words of Noddy Holder: 'ITS CHRISSSTTTMAAASSSSS!!!'
I am a busy chrismas elf, tidying and cooking and generally getting the house ready whilst watching a lot of christmas telly.
I watched a program of 'the ten greatest christmas films ever' and kept almost blubbering, especially during the 'Its a wonderful life' and 'miracle of 34th street' sections. Apparently in the remake of 'miracle ...' when Rchard attenborough speaks sign-language to a deaf girl she hadn't been told he was going to be able to talk to her, so the surprise and joy on her face is real! WAAAHHH!!! Blub blub blub.
I have also been listening a lot to Bob Dylans Christmas album and Bowie and Bing.
Now i must start taking all of my paintings and canvases from the toilet downstairs to the computer room upstairs. Wooo!
Have yourselves a merry little christmas
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Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Time:10:47 pm.
And also i missed you guys! I swear i've been reading all your posts, just not commenting.

I cant even tell you why i've been away, just too stressed and busy and things.

So i'm sorry again.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Time:10:40 pm.
Hi everyone
i'm so sorry i've been away so long. Things have just been crazy for a while.
Some highlights of the last few months:
*my pet rat russell died
*i adopted a dog and grew to love him deeply then he began attacking me. He broke the skin every time and it was completely unpredictable. We asked everyone we could for help but people said as there was no rhyme or reason to point out why he was attacking we had to give him up. It was the worst day of my life.
*i had a stall at an art fair which cost about £200 to rent for 5 days and noone bought anything. Well that's a lie, my dad did, but that's just a bit embarrassing really.
*I won my appeal from college, so i now have a 2:2 instead of a 3rd.
*i was part of a group exhibition in guildford which was meant to last a month but less than a week after i put my work up the art space was shut down.
*I had an exhibition at a week in a pub that lets you put up your work for free, no sales or interest came of it and someone stole 2 of my paintings.
* I was asked to do illustrations for a book, then i was told my deadline was the 20th of december when before there had been no deadline. I worked panickedly and got them all finished (and really good, not rushed or anything) in time, sent them to the man to give me the go ahead, spent £9 scanning them (my scanner is broken so i took them to Staples where they're meant to have a proper scanner but they were terrible :() and he hasn't replied at all.
And i've started doing reviews of makeup on another blog.

And really that's about it. Things haven't been that great. But it's christmas and i'm very pleased about that.

I'm sorry for being such a terrible blog friend. And i am back to writing here!
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Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

Time:10:57 am.
I'm still alive!
Just been soi incredibly busy.
I have a place at an art fair and an exhibition is guildford coming up soon, for which i have to make all new work. Also i'm doing another evening class in illustration in Brighton.
I am also bloody poor, so i will be majorly depressed if i can't sell anything at this fair.
Hopefully i'll write a proper entry and actually reply to comments tonight.
Sorry for being so bloody useless as a lj friend.
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Friday, August 28th, 2009

Time:12:35 am.
Claire and I are watching 10 Rillington Place. God Christie was a dick. More so than other serial killers I've seen in movies. It's really upsetting.
And he was wearing braces and a belt at one point. That should have told them he was a murderer! No sane man needs more than one way to keep his trousers up!

Today we went shopping in Belfast and i bought lots of nice things. Loads of little bits and pieces for my circus i am making.

There's a poodle sleeping next to me :)
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Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Time:7:25 pm.
Over here in Ireland you can get an amazing ice lolly the flavour of pears. It's absolutely delicious. I have about 15 in the freezer and am going to do an experiment to see if they taste anything near ok if i thaw and refreeze. That way i could take some home.
I'm having a very nice time.
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Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Time:11:03 pm.
I still haven't had any word from the benefits people, even though i sent my application for support benefits about 3 weeks ago, so i'm a little worried. But i got a nice cheque from college as there was money left in our degree show fund, so they portioned out what was left between us. Hooray for money. I've also made about a fiver on a survey site, which is ace.

Claire and i are watching 'Lolita 2000' on the horror channel. It's hilarious but a bit disappointing, as i was expecting a futuristic version of Lolita, but its not. It is however, a series of hilarious, bizarre porn vignettes set in the future for tenuous reasons. There are many awful, awful boob jobs though, which is always good.

I've gotten very into watching youtube video reviews and discussions about makeup. I might join them at some point, just for the fun.
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Time:10:05 pm.
It would appear i have a cold sore under the bottom right hand corner of my mouth. This is odd because there was no tingling or anything that usually comes with one, in fact it seemed to be born out of some chapped skin. It really hurts.

Am at Claire's mummy and daddy's house. We are looking after Perry Poodle while they're on holiday. It's nice and i am chilling out maxin and relaxin all cool.
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Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

Subject:Call to art folk
Time:12:11 am.
I was wondering if any artists on my friends list (lisis?) could help me to figure out what to do in the way of print making. There are services that will do it for you, but they are very expensive. Something like £50 to photograph/scan the picture, then about £10 per print. So i thought, seeing as the majority of my work is under A3, if i could buy an A3 scanner it would be cheaper to make prints myself, and get anything bigger than A3 professionally done if i felt the need to.
Especially seeing as now i need a new printer and scanner.
But i know nothing at all about what sort of printer/scanner would be high quality enough to use professionally.
Any help would be so so greatly recieved!
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LiveJournal for No More Lilly Marlene.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.